The Hidden Cost of Comparing Yourself on Social Media

Social media has become a crucial part of life. With social media, we are able to stay connected to the people we care about, find new ideas, and share special moments of life with other people. Social media, such as Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn, have provided us with spaces to celebrate our successes, experiences, and ourselves. However, social media, as beneficial as it is, also presents us with challenges, though these challenges may not be so obvious.

The biggest challenge associated with social media use is the feeling of competition. When we use social media, we often find ourselves looking at the successful moments of other people's lives. Promotions, vacations, and other people's successes and exciting moments of life are often shared, and these moments look as if they occur naturally.

This can eventually affect how we view our own personal development. Without realizing it, we may find that we begin to measure our own personal success against the success of others. A person’s promotion that they share with us online may cause us to question our own life choices. A person’s travel adventure may cause us to feel like our own life is boring. Although we may not have experienced any changes in our lives, we may experience changes in how we view our lives.

Comparison is the thief of joy - Theodore Roosevelt

This quote has become more relevant today with the rise of social media. When we constantly compare our lives to the lives of others, we may find that we are not paying attention to our own success.

It is, of course, important to remember that social media is not always a reflection of the entire scope of an individual’s life. Most people, by virtue of being social creatures, tend to share experiences that show moments of achievement, bliss, and milestones. On the other hand, the struggles, the uncertainties, and the setbacks that people go through are often not as visible. When we lose sight of this, comparison begins to seep into our lives in ways that alter our self-worth.

The first step in understanding the underlying cost of social media comparison and finding ways to safeguard our mental health in an interconnected world is to recognize this process.

The Highlight Reel Effect

In order to understand why social media comparison has such a profound effect on us, it’s necessary to understand the way that social media disseminates information. The truth is that most people are naturally inclined to share moments that showcase success, happiness, and personal achievements. Photos from vacation, career, and celebratory moments are far more likely to appear on a person’s profile than moments of hardship or indecision.

This creates what most people call a “highlight reel.” Just as a movie trailer will showcase the most exciting scenes from a particular movie, a social media profile will showcase the most positive moments from a person’s life. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with celebrating success or happy moments, it’s a distorted view of reality.

Seeing these scenes over and over again creates a sense of living in a world where everyone seems to be succeeding, progressing, and living a happy life without any problems. However, on the other hand, we are aware of our own struggles and insecurities. This creates a sense of comparison that cannot be avoided.

Keeping this in mind will allow us to take a step back and look at what we are seeing on social media. Everyone’s success story has a number of unseen efforts, failures, and moments of insecurity.

The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel - Steven Furtick

The Silent Damage of Comparison

While comparison, in and of itself, does not seem like anything too detrimental, its long-term effects are perhaps greater than we want to acknowledge. When we are constantly comparing ourselves to what others have accomplished and how they live their lives on the internet, it can subtly begin to change how we look at ourselves and what we have accomplished in life.

One of the largest effects that comparison can have on an individual is that they will begin to feel like they are “behind” in life. When they see others accomplishing certain things, they will often get the feeling that they should have accomplished the same things by the time they are their age.

Most times, the comparison habit is not something that starts with social media use. From a very early age, people are used to hearing comparisons and using them in their daily lives, be it in school, within families, and among friends. For instance, when people say things such as “look at how well somebody else is doing,” their intentions might be to encourage a person to do better, but in the process, they might be planting a seed in their mind that their self-worth is dependent on how they compare to others. This is something that might be carried on into adulthood and then be reflected on social media on a larger scale.

Do not compare your progress with that of others. We all need our own time to travel our own distance.

Over time, this too can have an impact on one’s level of confidence. Rather than being proud of one’s own growth and success, one can become more focused on what one thinks one lacks. This, in turn, can diminish one’s ability to see the success one has already achieved.

Another issue that arises is that of losing one’s sense of gratitude. When one is so focused on what others have been able to achieve, one loses the ability to see the positive in one’s own life. It becomes a vicious cycle, where one is never satisfied, even in the face of positive growth. It is also important to understand that one’s path in life is unique and that one should not compare one’s path to that of another without fully understanding the circumstances and situations that each person faced in their lives.

Creating a Healthier Relationship with Social Media

"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you" - Anne Lamott

However, while acknowledging the impact of social media comparison, it does not necessarily imply that we should completely eliminate social media from our lives. Social media is a powerful tool that can be used as a means of communication, learning, and inspiration. What is important is that we should be able to establish a better relationship with social media that benefits our lives rather than quietly working against us.

A good way to start is to be more mindful of the content that we view. Our social media accounts dictate the content that is shown to us. Thus, if the content that we view is the one that is making us feel inadequate or is promoting unnecessary comparison, then it is high time that we should start considering the option of “unfollowing” the accounts that are contributing to our feelings.

Another significant habit that one should adopt is the avoidance of mindless scrolling. It is common for many individuals to access social media without any particular reason at any given time of the day, especially at moments of boredom or stress. However, this may add up over time and result in excessive time spent comparing oneself with others. Therefore, one should try to establish small limits on the time spent on social media.

It is essential to understand that every individual is on their unique timeline in life. In many cases, one may not attain success or growth at the same time as someone else. What may seem to be fast growth or success may be the result of years of hard work and perseverance. Therefore, one should focus on their goals and growth to move forward with more clarity.

Most importantly, we need to find time to engage in experiences that are available outside the screen. Time spent on friends and family, developing hobbies, acquiring new skills, and engaging in one’s personal interests are some of the best ways to develop a sense of fulfillment in one’s life. When one’s life is filled with enriching experiences, the need to constantly compare one’s self to others begins to dissipate. Yes, read that line again.

Conclusion

With social media, it has become easier than ever to witness the achievements and milestones of other people. While witnessing such achievements can certainly inspire us, it can also cause us to measure our progress against the carefully crafted images of someone else’s life. When comparison becomes a habit, it quietly erodes the appreciation we have for our own journey.

“Comparison is an act of violence against the self” - Iyanla Vanzant

If we are able to recognize this hidden danger, it allows us to take a step back and use social media in a more mindful way. Every person’s life is unique, as it is affected by unique challenges, opportunities, and decisions. Rather than comparing our lives to that of someone else, it is far more meaningful to look at growth, learning, and progress in our own lives.